What I Learned From A Few Weeks Away From Facebook

A couple of weeks ago I made a decision to take a break from Facebook and just see what would happen. I’ve been a user of the social media site since about 2009 and for as useful as it’s been it’s also been quite an annoyance in my digital life — more so in recent years than early on.

Well, not so much the site itself, but users; half-assed “friends” gathered over time and social events, randoms in groups and on pages, and just the nature of people who sometimes just share too damn much. There’s is honestly quite a bit that can be said about Facebook specifically, let alone the bulk of social media, but I’m going to try to keep this one a bit short and here just focus on what I learned by being off the site for a little while.

Namely, just how much of a downer the whole experience of being on Facebook actually is! It’s incredible, between the assholes, the ego-manics, the hypocrites, and the inevitable arguing over everything that most everyone seems to do on there, it’s not a fun place.

That’s not to say you can’t have fun on there – sometimes I really enjoy funny threads or deep discussions on topics I like (I’m in several Space related groups, for example, which provide some good conversation and educational opportunities) but for every good experience I’ve had I feel like I’ve had 100 negative ones. People just seem to be inherently hostile which doesn’t surprise me in and of itself, but just how blatant it is on social media v.s more traditional “in person” discussion. No one hides it, but everyone seems to ignore it, and calling people out on it if you aren’t one of the “popular” people, well that just invites more hostility your way. It’s rather amazing how much like High School it all is, when you think about it, and no, that’s in no way a compliment. At all.

“Out of sight, out of mind” was the best thing while I was away — I simply didn’t care. I didn’t care about groups, didn’t care about friends posts (in detail on Facebook, anyway – I still cared about them as people of course) but it was so relaxing to just not even be able to go to the site, just to check on things, if I even wanted to. I had more time to work on things I wanted to, without distraction, or someone being negative in reaction to me or my thoughts. I actually accomplished quite a bit over those few weeks, and only even went back to the site out of necessity for a time. This isn’t over, and I may well be leaving for good soon, something I know many people will hate but I think would be better for me in the long run.

In a sense you could say I was, in retrospect, amazed at the addictive nature of the site. It’s an incredibly deep topic in its own right, but Facebook, like most any social media site, is designed to keep you engaged, always browsing, clicking, liking, sharing, reading, commenting, arguing… it’s based around interaction since that helps get eyes on advertisements. I’m deeply aware of this yet, thanks to human nature, I find myself playing their game! It’s maddening to think about!

Still, what’s the end point? I’d say it’s that I re-learned how to enjoy time by myself, as funny as that sounds. To not want or need to share things with others on what has to be the epitome of terrible when it comes to the concept of Social Media. It’s hard to describe but, quite simply, I was happier with it gone. People speak of going back to a “simpler time” with some things, and it’s rather cliche for the most part but here, I think it’s a valid idea — going back to doing things a bit more like how I used to 10-15 years ago was such a relief. It was a small thing, sure, but given the scale of Facebook, and how many people use it, it was great to escape. Twitter isn’t quite the same, and Instagram, as much as I love it, I actually rarely use, so Facebook, needless to say, was the main outlet that I needed at least a temporary escape from.

Perhaps the follow up to this will help it make more sense. It’s hard to describe without spending a ton of time going into detail about just why Facebook is so terrible (more than I already have.) I’ll end with this: if you feel like Facebook may be the cause of stress, anxiety, or otherwise just not a source of happiness in your life, say “fuck it” and deactivate for a week or two. Don’t worry about it, don’t give a damn what’s going on, ignore that shit and live your life and see if you feel better.

I’ll end this, for no particular reason, with the Motörhead cover of “Breaking The Law.” Enjoy.

Updated: September 17, 2019 — 11:42 PM

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