NOTE: This is the “old” version of this review. It has been replaced by a new version.
Meet Luanne Platter, the niece of Peggy Hill and, thanks to her mother and father getting into a very nasty fight, a resident of the Hill house. Quite the annoying resident as far as Hank is concerned — she’s been living in his den for a while now, but it seems she’s going to soon be leaving the Hill’s and moving in with her boyfriend, Buckley, who, incidentally, is the employee at Mega-lo-Mart Hank was talking with in the first episode.
Buckley isn’t the most likable character – not exactly bright and incredibly annoying, Hank still puts up with him in the hopes that he will “be her ticket out of his house.” This doesn’t come to pass as Buckley breaks up with Luanne just seconds after picking her up, and Luanne doesn’t handle it well. Hank goes to attempt to talk to her, unable to comprehend what even just happened. Peggy, on the other hand, instantly realizes what’s happened and tries to help.
Hank makes every attempt to ignore her crying, but he just can’t escape it. He begs Peggy to “fix her” but, as she puts it, this isn’t something that can just be fixed. He gives Hank some advice (to tell her she “looks pretty” and nothing more) but Hank, being the “I can fix anything” handyman he is, he goes a step further and, like any guy would, tries to convince Luanne that he isn’t even worth crying over.
This initially doesn’t go so well, but Hank keeps up, giving Luanne one of his speeches (the kind he normally gives Bobby) and eventually gets her to repress the sadness she’s feeling. It’s not a healthy mechanism, as shown with how Bill cries about his own divorce in private, but it does work, and Luanne and Hank eventually spend the night eating cookie dough and complaining about Buckley’s every flaw. It’s a bit awkward at points, but Luanne is feeling better – Hank “fixed her,” what Peggy couldn’t do. Peggy doesn’t like this — she knows the behavior is unhealthy and not natural, but hank smooth-talks his way out of trouble.
Later on, Hank, Peggy, Luanne, and the guys go to a cowboy saloon themed bar, with the guys hell bent on getting Luanne a new boyfriend. The guys each try to find one that may match with Luanne, but be a decent person, as opposed to the types of guys she normally dates. This results in a bit of hilarity with Dale deciding he should be looking for a guy with a “round muscular butt” and, later, talking with a guy in the restroom who “looks like a normal guy.”
While Bill is (somewhat poorly) distracting Peggy, who would, of course, be against the idea of the guys setting Luanne up, Hank finds Wade, the exact type of all-American, mother loving, football playing, propane using young man he’s been looking for to hook Luanne up with.
Back at the Hill house, Buckley comes back looking for Luanne. Hank tells him off, describing her “new boyfriend” to him, and tells him to leave. When Peggy asks about why he sent Buckley off, saying that it’s a part of the process, Hank tells Peggy about setting Luanne up with Wade. This angers Peggy who goes into a monologue about the history of Women and their tactics with men.
Just then they hear a car pull up outside. Hank thinks it’s Wade dropping her off, and even thinks Wade has set his car up just like Boomhauers. It turns out to actually be Boomhauer, who is tanked and kissed by Luanne as she is dropped off.
It turns out Wade turned into “Mr. Grabby Sam” as soon as Hank and Peggy left – so much for the “All-American Good Guy” view Hank had of him. Luanne then calls Hank out on setting her up with Wade just to get his den back. Hank reacts to this by insulting Boomhauer, treating him as no better than what Wade apparently became and suggests that Boomhauer is now her new boyfriend!
Hank, of course, forbids Luanne to date Boomhauer (even though that’s not even what Boomhauer was going for) while she is living under Hank’s roof. To counter this, Luanne goes to live with Boomhauer, a proposition he rejects but happens anyway, given no one can understand him.
Hank proceeds to clean the den of Luanne’s things. Peggy interrupts him and proceeds to call him out on his behavior — he’s upset because he does care about Luanne, contrary to how he acts. It’s actually a very deep character dynamic that’s quite a common situation in real life — people we’re forced to interact with who, for better or worse, do become people we care about more than what obligation forces us to. While Hank did want his den back, he also truly does want the best for his step-niece.
Back at Boomhauers, Luanne is concerned things are moving too quickly. Boomhauer, however, just tosses her a pillow and sheets and goes to bed in his own room.
After a while noticing how empty things feel without Luanne in the house, and Boomhauer hanging with the guys, Hank and the family go to Luly’s Cafeteria (at Peggy’s “suggestion”) and run into none other than Boomhauer and Luanne. While Boomhauer tries to explain the situation to Hank, he is having none of it, and tells Luanne that she can get her stuff tomorrow.
While eating, Hank notices Luanne crying and thinks Boomhauer dumped her. Peggy corrects him, by telling him that he, in effect, dumped her! This causes a change of heart in Hank and, instead of all of Luannes things being boxed up for her to take and leave with, he has instead set up his den to be, properly, her room going forward.
Of course, at the ending, Hank and Boomhauer make up the way guys do, and everything is back to normal.
Final Rating: 3.5/5
This is another solid character-building episode. It’s pretty straightforward, and a bit odd, but it does play on the dynamics of a more complex family and how people’s emotions are — sometimes people close to us fill more roles than the obvious ones in our lives, and things can be pretty complex. Strong writing. Sadly, this is one of few episodes focusing on Luanne which have that trait.
Comedy wise the episode has its strong points, mainly with Dale — especailly his “This neighborhood is turning into Melrose Place” line all while his wife is cheating on him.