As is obvious to anyone visiting this site I’ve been quite distant from it, and quite a bit of social media, over the past few months.
This has been a way for me to clear my mind, or at least, an attempt to. I’ve been focusing heavily on other projects and shying away from the ever-present urge of the social animals that we humans are to try to strike up random conversation with the masses online — it never leads to anything good.
This is all stuff I’ve mentioned many times this past year — I don’t know if it’s a direct result of the pandemic or other changes in my life, but I’ve just been comfortable away from things and mein Gott it’s helped.
Yet still, as is going to happen in life, frustration finds me. That’s what the last article was — a chance to vent the frustration of dealing with full grown adults who seriously act like children. It’s something we all know as a phenomena, but one that never stops being surprising, or annoying, when it happens.
That’s not the point of this entry, though — honestly I’m not quite sure what my point is — I just wanted to write something else after that last entry and this is it. I’ve kept myself occupied with a project I’d never thought a year ago I’d undertake, and I’ve really been enjoying squirreling myself away in my “office” space surrounded by ever more obsolete technology that I just love and can’t help but enjoy using.
That’s not too out of the normal, but given the state of the world I’ve been more inclined than ever to stay home, only going out where necessary or for some very specific tasks — not to waste time. In a sense the title, Distance, works there in that I’ve been, more than ever, maintaining distance from most everyone save for those I work with and a few family members. Otherwise, if you’re another human stay the hell away from me until this Pandemic is over. Hell, even after it’s done stay away. I, honestly, don’t care much for people at large.
Individual persons? Sure, they can be cool, but people en masse? Count me out. I made a mistake in my mid to late 20’s trying to be super social and this past year has given me a chance to make up for that wasted time and energy — I’ve been able to focus it inward on music and another still not mentioned project.
It’s been productive, to say the least, but at the cost of me separating myself from this very site which I’ve worked on in one way or another for 14 years now.
That, however, may be a good thing. It’s always good to take a step back from something you love for a while, to come back to it with fresh perspective. That’s certainly happened here, so I guess it’s all good in the long run.
People, though. Communities. The scenes I’ve been a part of for years now… that’s another story. I’ve learned and come to accept that I just don’t fit in with what they have become, and that I should distance myself from them, for my own happiness. I don’t care about anime much anymore. I love video games but gaming culture is an absolute sickening joke. Technology is a perpetual dick-measuring contest of how much you can spend on a high end device that will be dead in 2 years. Social progress consists of blaming everyone else for the problems in your life. We went through 4 years of a fucking moron being President. Lastly, people are so fucking full of themselves that they think trying to stop the spread of a deadly disease is oppression.
I want to be away from it all. From the people, from the scenes, from everything, save for a few aspects that I still hold close. Hell, one thing I’ve not been distant from, recently, has been gaming. I’ve actually played stuff on my Xbox One for the first time in months this past couple of weeks and have been very happy doing such. Just stepping away from the internet and web at large and zoning out. Hell, even online matches in Titanfall 2 have been fun, rather than frustrating, and that’s just great.
Distance has been wonderful for me. While I need to show some things, like this website, more attention, other things which, for some reason, I once thought were something to focus on I know now can safely be tossed aside, be it hobbies, discussions, scenes, or individual people.
I’m happier with it out of my life. That simple.